You only get a couple of years when you can actually enjoy your children. Sure they’re cute when they’re babies but that whole "wiping their ass" thing gets pretty old quickly and by eight they start to get all uppity and expensive. Jesus, I *just* bought you those shoes!! How did you get them so dirty!?! No, I’m not going to just buy you new ones. Because money doesn’t grow on trees, you little bastard. That’s it, Michael, go to your room and think about what you’ve done!! Fucking kids. Enjoy those few, simple years when you can still dress them up like a shark before they start to resent you and it gets weird.